Learning to Speak Up

Last week I sat in court and watched someone I care about testify about a wrongful dismissal he had experienced. One of the dynamics was that he was so embarrassed and ashamed of an error he made, he failed to speak up for himself.

Can you relate to not standing up for yourself, for letting someone else get their way … whether a friend, co-worker, partner or employer? How can you find the voice within you to speak your truth?

This year, I have made a decision to speak up … I had selfishly forgotten than it isn’t just my issue.  Witnessing this person’s struggle to speak up … which resulted in job loss lit my internal fires to help others find the greatness in them, and to realize that they are worth speaking up!

In the words of Michelle Ray, CSP “you can’t shrink yourself to glory”. I think this is such a profound quote. Everytime we shrink to avoid something, we lose a piece of ourselves.

I encourage you all to take the time to make a positive inventory of all the amazing things you are … perhaps it’s easier to list what you have done or accomplished to date. Now, I’m suggesting big things like climbing Mt. Everest … not it’s the small things that really make an impact. Ask yourself, why are people friends with you … now don’t shrink and be shy … no, yell from the roof tops what makes you so special and uniquely you!

Now that you have recognized these wonderful characteristics, you can use them to remind yourself how important you are … then speak up for yourself because you matter! You are amazing … it’s just recognizing it that allows others around you to embrace what’s wonderful about them too!

Perhaps you can share something you are proud of in the comments attached … share them with the world.

 

Getting Motivated on a Hot Day …

A friend of mine is in Eastern Canada sitting by the ocean breeze (at least she was a friend of mine) … I’m sitting in a darkened office, blinds closed, with a fan blowing slightly into the room. I am working away at a project that I am excited about … my brain feels a little like it’s been fried by the heat … my attention level has dropped … and my focussing is waning.

On Purpose Consulting is now a registered business in Ontario … I am working with a talented graphic designer who is creating my logo … I have it down to one I like, and with a few tweeks, we’ll be there. Yet, as I get closer to this dream, I feel fear in my belly. Rather than running away and avoiding my passion, I am choosing to feel the fear and do it anyway!

It’s amazing that by simply focussing on my passion for On Purpose Consulting, I am feeling more inspired and motivated to work away at the details of my project. Often by taking a few moments to remember what the central value and passion is for you, you can re-ignite your enthusiasm for a project.

So, next time you get stuck, let me suggest you take a deep breathe, close your eyes and remember what drives you from within … then connect that internal inspiration to the current work project and ignite your human capital!

Reaching Consensus

Just returned refreshed from a wonderful relaxing vacation!

One of the things that we did was attend an AGM (Annual General Meeting) for a Rate Payers Association. I give kudos to them for the absolute transparency in their process!

As I observed, I noticed a common team decision dilemma occur. Individuals had shared a concern that was common to many, despite that they may have shared it from their own perspective (from safety to legal concerns). The chair was attempting to get this meeting done on a glorious sunny afternoon and took the first suggestion raised and attempted to get consensus. This is where the process became derailed.

Clearly, most people were in agreement of the problem — consensus had been reached on the concern. The solution was a different story. It causes me to reflect on how easy it is to identify problems than it is to find the solution to them.

I remember many meetings where once the problem was clearly identified, some individuals became silent, while others continued to reiterate their concern. As a change agent, I recognize that for consensus to be reached on a solution, it often requires discussing many potential solutions. There needs to be given space to come up with creative solutions.

That means that the most verbose need to sit quietly and allow the quieter, introverts to speak up. That also means that introverts need to take the risk to speak up. At times when silence occurs, it can be uncomfortable for all and we then tend to do what is most comfortable to us … speak up again or remain silent. So I encourage you, no I request of you, to break out of your comfort zone and do the opposite of your normal behaviour.

You see, being a change agent requires risk … you need to speak up, to listen up and then to openly discuss the potential solution. Then you must be prepared to take action.

Happy Risking! May the solutions you find today lead you to inspiration!

Sylvia

To Focus or Not to Focus

I awoke this morning and went to a eye doctor’s appointment. I am sitting here looking like a junky — one eye is dilated and the other one is normal. So, I am lacking focus! Yes, literally and figuratively! I was about to allow this vision challenge coupled with some fears related to marketing myself and had convinced myself to wait until tomorrow. I am a talented rationalizer.

Then I chatted with one of my collegues who commented “oh, don’t let the procrastination set in”. I heard her loud and clear. So I then proceeded to  delay by eating lunch and walking my friendly neighbourhood Great Dane.

By the time I returned to my desk and I was ready to start to make phone calls. It is so easy to get distracted. When I keep my eye on the prize, and my passion, I can’t help but get into action!

I realize that the only one I’m letting down is me … oh, yeah and the audiences I have valuable things to share with.

I Have Found My Passion

Last Friday I had the opportunity to present a workshop in Toronto named Working in Alignment: Ethics for Addiction Counsellors.  I awoke on Friday morning feeling like it was Christmas … my inner dialogue was “I get to drive to Toronto and do a workshop today” with excitement. I felt like a child in a candy store who was told she could have everything she desired.

If that is not enough, after the workshop, I “flew home” … let’s be honest, it was Friday afternoon rush hour and my drive was 2.5 hours long! What I mean is, that I was so happy and inspired that the drive was awesome too. Okay, that was after I called my brother-in-law for directions to ensure I wasn’t lost. Still, no stress …

Even now, days later, as I share about my experience, I have a viseral reaction in my body of pure pleasure. I have found my passion … being at the front of the room and sharing my insights to assist others is amazing. I cannot get enough of this divine experience.

The feedback I was given was also amazing … imagine, you are in a basement room with approximately 20 others, on a beautiful sunny day taking a workshop on Ethics … I know, you’re beginning to yawn … however I was told it was “fun, funny and engaging” and other such accolades!!! Everyone was fully engaged throughout the entire workshop!

So, what I’m learning is that when I embrace my passion, I allow others to join me for a short journey of fun as well.

If you are inspired and want to hire me … just call me at 519-822-3776 or go to www.plester-silk.com!

I invite you all to find your passion for work!

Sylvia Plester-Silk Consulting
Living and Working: Life On Purpose
Workshops and Keynotes

I’m back from the abyss!

It has been several months since my last confession … sorry, I got off track, I meant to say since my last blog!

I have been working away at creating clarity for myself and my new business venture. I’ve been waiting until I “get it together” before sharing it. Perhaps sharing my process will be beneficial to some .. in this vein I will share where I’m at.

This year I am taking a course on Professional Speaking, it is called ProTrack and I am finding it amazing. The faculty are all professional speakers (successful ones), that are sharing their insights, knowledge and experience with us.

So what I’ve learned … is that I need to be myself on the stage … so expect a little sarcasm when you listen to me … I am recognizing that there is no one way to do this. It’s up to me to discover my professional path and to create the style that works for me.

I know that my message in all that I do is about living and working “ON PURPOSE”. That’s right, about empowering ourselves to make the choices that are best for us and stop being like a leaf being blown away in some unforeseen direction because the wind is going that way.

So, how to you figure out what your values are? How do you make choices every day that support these? How do you create a life or career that is driven by an inner passion that makes you spark at the opportunity to get up in the morning … stay tuned, I’m willing to share.

The Re-Invention Craze

Well folks, it’s not often I’ve felt at the beginning of a trend … when I decided to make major changes last year, little did I know it was going to be the “in vogue” experience that it is. My gosh, even Oprah is doing it!

Everywhere I turn I see messages about he importance of re-inventing yourself and keeping current in the marketplace. Whether it’s in professional magazines such as Speaker or just regular magazines … there it is again. One might argue that I am seeing it because I’m interested. Perhaps, however, I know a number of individuals who have owned their own businesses, often successful in them, shutting the business down and returning to work for an employer. I’ve also talked with individuals who have decided it’s now time for them to embark on their own entreprenurial endeavour.

It appears that the season of change is upon us. Perhaps it’s that we are tired of the daily struggle to make a fair dollar in the marketplace doing something that we are not completely passionate about. Are we as a society waking up to the importance of feeling fullfilled because we are seeking meaningful work that fits perfectly with our values? I truly hope so.

Having worked before within companies and agencies that did not fit with my personal values, I know that it can be exhausting and frustrating. On the other hand, working from our personal value base can be energizing and exciting (even when it’s scary and unknown). I can see clearly how the competition in the workplace would simply fall away as out of date if everyone were able to use their own special skills and abilities based on their own personal beliefs. We would feel so content that what our co-workers were doing would not matter so much. Our own contentment would overshadow the negativity of others who are not able to work from a values centred approach.

So, if you are working for yourself or for another company or person, look at the values within yourself and the values of your workplace. Do they match? If not, it’s time to look for other work … In the meantime, find the alignment between the two and focus on that.

Our values relate directly to our conscience — if we don’t pay necessary attention to them, they can keep us up at night. So let’s all work towards personal fulfillment driven from within, focussed on making a positive difference in the world.

A New Year Begins

When I reflect on 2010 … wow! What a year of massive change for me. Everywhere I look I see articles on re-inventing yourself and I sense I’m in fashion!

So, I’m back from the sunny south … Cayo Coco Cuba. I’m so relaxed, I’m like a rubber plant and also as inert! I’m feeling rested and revitalized and it’s time for even more change!

It’s time for me to deeply believe in myself to set a course and meander through any obstacles that may enter my world. I know that I a truly capable and competent! I can look at a group of people and quickly access what’s happening and where conflict lies (even when hidden)! So what I need an am intending from my world is a chance to prove what I can do … no, right now I don’t have the “hard numbers” of results, and yet, I know that I can once given the opportunity help to make lasting change and to enhance esprit de corps in any given agency and company.

I will not lose my resolve … I have what it takes and I will continue to champion my abilities and sell them to the world! Look out … here I come.

Sylvia

Non-efforting and Manifesting

In the past few weeks, my yoga teacher has used the phrase “non-efforting” encouraging us to allow our body to relax and find the position vs. fighting with what is to have the results we think we should have. I have found it a very interesting concept in terms of my yoga practise and in life. At what point are we putting too much effort into something that will not make the return on investment for our efforts?

A friend in my mastermind group has spoken of the same concept as “floating”. She is taking each individual opportunity or experience in life and evaluating whether to engage with it our not, depending upon how she feels about the options. She is letting go of  the “should” as she builds a new business. She describes this concept as the idea of not fighting to swim against the current and floating with flow.

I am wondering about this now as I wait online with Rogers waiting for technical assistance (it’s been over 48 minutes now with no response), am I wonder if I just let it go, would it work out the same? I have an important call coming in at 5:00 p.m. and want the phone to work for it. Perhaps the universe is telling me that the 5:00 call is not for me? In any event, I will continue to hold, as I do other things.

Where I really struggle with this is wondering how much I can manifest if I’m not working actively towards my goals and dreams. I believe that I can be focussed and that I still need to do the foot work to do so.

Although, a friend mentioned on the phone the other day that it’s amazing the way that I created work for pay that incorporates my Improv acting skills, social work knowledge and my communication skills. This is the work that I am loving doing … it’s fun … I’m a simulated client at the University of Guelph. I truly value learning and it’s a wonderful opportunity to assist the Vet students to learn more effective skills to communicate with people. So, what did I do to create it? Nothing, another friend approached me … I was open to the possibility and it happened. Go figure.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about manifesting and creating the life we want … what is important to focus on, what is it that we need to do or not do to create.

Have a wonderful week!

Inner Critic: Techniques to Quiet Negative Mindsets

Have you ever woken up in the morning feeling overwhelmed with what you have to do in the day? I did this morning, yet when I really looked at the tasks at hand, they were completely manageable.

It is incredible what our internal critic can do to us. Whether it’s telling me that I cannot do something or that I am not smart enough … it can really take me down to a place where I am unmotivated.

What I have learned to do to manage my inner critic, is to ask a few simple, powerful questions:

1) What really must be done today? To help with this, I will make a written list. There is something about taking my thoughts and putting them on paper that reflects more reality.

2) When I think a negative thought, I ask it this really true? What is the evidence of truth and evidence of falsehood?

3) Am I being fair to myself? What are my skills and abilities that I possess that I can use in this situation? Just like on a job resume, transferable skills work in real life – although I may not have done an activity before, I will have some frame of reference from past experience to bring to the table.

4) What thought would serve me better in my life? Is there an affirmation that I can tell myself on a regular basis to remind myself of my talents and skills?

Generally, once I’ve completed the above, I’m ready to go … motivated and inspired to take the task at hand on.

What do you do when your inner critic rears it’s ugly head? I’d love to hear your techniques!

Sylvia